THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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