Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
