Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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