This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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