A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
