it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
