the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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