he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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