why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
