Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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