If that was your dad, he is hot
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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