Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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