I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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