If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
dude. I can hear the air.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
