I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
is that a dick in a sweater?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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