If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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