the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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