Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
