Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
