She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
