Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
