wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
