she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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