Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
just found out that she named her cat after me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
