Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
