You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
