drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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