I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
