But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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