does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
did i just pee glitter
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
