I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
