Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize