for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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