I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
