She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
