I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
