You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Randomize
