Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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