We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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