My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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