who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
how drunk are you?
Several
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
