Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
