She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
