i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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