Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
