You made me cry and you don't even care
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
