Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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