Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's blow job season.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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