I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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