So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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