What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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