I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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