matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need to align my fucking chakras
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