Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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