Me too!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize