Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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