I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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