Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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