clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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