so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
